Life can be so f****** cruel

What IS life?
Is it people who breath, eat and do they duties?
I think is SO much more than that.

Life is a hard.
Life is so much more then just waking up, go to work , come home to your family, eat, exercise and then go to sleep.

Life is unpredictable.
Yes, you can sometimes feel your life is full of love, peace and a lot of happenings, but you also needs to feel sorrow, sadness and adversity to make it «complete» as we like to call it. But do we?

you never know what you might wake up to, or go to sleep with.
It might change over night, and it can suck the energi out of you.

In some unfortunate cases, people wakes up and feel the darkside, and even worse, the darkside does´t seem to let go. it´s just right there, in your head, day in and day out for a long , long period of time.
It follows you all day through without any pauses.

yes everybody can have hard days for sure, but this is not what i´m talking about.
I´m talking about that darkness that has immigranted a soul.
A darkness no one can understand completely before they have actually experienced itself.

Surrounded by dark, sad, bad thoughts everything gets hard. Really hard.
Just to wake up in the morning, as we all do, suddenly seem insurmountable, to think about you have to go to work makes you want to cry,

Now you might think there will be a flash of light in here, when the next thing on the agenda is to finally get back home again to the family. To see the kids and wife /husband , but more than anything even that just makes you stressed.
All you want, is just to get back home and go straight to your bed.
But you also KNOW there´s a family waiting for familytime, dinner and playtime.
You get into a mode like « I am just here, but i dont want anyone to talk to me» (you feel more like a robot who just do it because thats what normal people should do.)

So ok, all day has been grey or black , whats left then? working out? NO, no,no,no, you want go there, you havn´t been going to the gym in a while, so the body isn´t fit for anymore, you just better off without it.

Now its just one thing left. going to sleep. Finally something to look forward to? You might think so, since the rest of the day was so crap. But no. going to sleep is just a remember of the same bad day you will get when you wake up the next morning.
You just know the next day will be as shitty as this.

Dark, cold, alone, inside your head.

its sad, but if the psyche is going to get you, i meen really into you, you should take some serious action right away.

I have lost TO MANY friends now who has ended their life because they thought life was to heavy or dark.

LIFE is what LIFE is, its WE PEOPLE who is ruin it by overthinking and over analyzeing.

BE THE MASTER OF YOUR HEAD.

(I have been on the darkside to many times, I know how easy IT can get you down so, so, so  low)
dont listen to the dark voices , listen to your heart and win the battle over the f*** demons.

YOU WILL ALWAY BE LOVED


R.I.P Ivan

-Tinkabell- (is back)



 

3 kommentarer

Lise Duun

26.10.2016 kl.03:55

Bra skrevet!

katinka hellan

26.10.2016 kl.03:57

takk =)

Sunniva Skaug

26.10.2016 kl.12:59

Så enig i det du skriver, bra skrevett :)

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katinka hellan

katinka hellan

29, Trondheim

Jeg er ei glad-jente fra Trondheim. Driver med sang og dans i fritiden og elsker å opptre på en scene. Trener for tiden på Step by Step i Trondheim. Ellers går all tid tid min butikk og salong Tinkabelle. www.tinkabelle.no Bloggen min handler både om den tøffe tiden og min nye hektiske hverdag. Utfordringen er å få hverdagen til å fungere sammen med min psykisk lidelse. Er du en slik sjel, eller er du ikke helt sikker? Redd for å si det høyt eller holder ting for deg selv? Ikke nøl med å sende meg en mail på katinka_hellan@hotmail.com og spør :)

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